Haiku: Eventually

Every day I look
for grays. I am ready at
last to look my age.

Real-life narrative of a working first-time mom.

     My in-laws are coming to visit today. I really like my husband's family--they are very kind, generous, and supportive.

     I spent the weekend at home with my baby. As I work full time and breastfeed, my daughter makes up for lost time when we are together by napping less and nursing longer. This is very common for breastfed babies. Nursing is comforting and relaxing, and baby misses that throughout the workday. As my daughter pretty much sleeps through the night regularly, our  mornings, evenings, and weekends are spent together. I hold her, play with her, feed her, and generally go crazy enjoying our time.

     I am generally an organized and fastidious person. I like to put things away immediately, and I like everything to have an "away place." I dirty a dish, and right into the dishwasher it goes. I like folding laundry right out of the dryer. My husband thinks I waste time doing things out of order, but I feel I save time by not putting things off until later, when I may not have the time.

     We had Christmas dinner at my house. My husband's extended family came and stayed through Christmas Day. The weekend before New Years until New Years Day, we went to Pittsburgh to visit my family. I caught a cold in Pittsburgh and was sick when I got back home. It's been two weekends since then. Both were spent essentially restocking our home by taking shopping trips, and working for my husband.

     All of these things meet at this point. My house is still a wreck from Christmas. I am not able to clean it because I spend all time at home caring for my baby. My husband must use all extra time to work. We don't have down time. And now, my in-laws have spent the day in my filthy house. After a day of working at my job, I'm heading home feeling like a failure. I can't do it all, and it is driving me crazy. I haven't had the time to clean. I haven't had the time to do laundry. I barely have time to use the restroom. I'm not complaining, but I do have to vent how much of a rotten failure I feel like inside. I don't regret the time spent with my baby. I just wish I could survive on less sleep.

Mommyhood!

     My beautiful daughter, my Angel Girl, is three months old. I know it more exactly, too--fifteen weeks, four days, and roughly eleven hours old. This may reflect what I'm beginning to realize about myself--I am steeped in motherhood. It took over my life in a rough, overwhelming, and irreversible way, but I grew to really, really love it. My Angel Girl is out of her so-called "fourth trimester," which means that's she's awake, both literally and figuratively. She sleeps much less than she used to (and much less than I think babies her age do, on average), but she's also aware that she wants to be held, she wants to be talked to, she enjoys being talked to, and she enjoys talking back. I think we heard her first word, "Ma!" on Sunday, January 6, and yesterday, she looked right at my husband and said, "Da!" She wants to kick and flail, shove both hands in her mouth and suck and gnaw, grab on to Mommy's hair and yank, put various non-pacifier limbs of Mr. WubbaNub into her mouth, or hang her ringy rattle from her mouth and both of her hands. She wants to see and do and participate. She likes and dislikes. She has a will. She's a little person, all smiles and grabbiness and a few scant giggles here in there (although it's like pulling teeth to get them out of her). It's the most exciting thing I've ever done, I never expected to feel this way, and I don't know if it's biological or mental, but I'd never look back or regret it. This is just too good.

  
     My adventures in motherhood also include adventures in breastfeeding. My Angel Girl is breastfed exclusively, which is no small feat, since I work full time and leave her home with my husband (who also works full time--and trust me, the math doesn't add up to us either, and my husband all but stands on his head to make this possible). This leaves me to pump breast milk at work, which is a Pain in the Ass (capitals intentional), but that's okay. There are many more horror stories about poor mothers who really want to and really try to breastfeed and can't, so my minor annoyances about pumping at work hardly register as reasons to stop. The bottom line is that I enjoy breastfeeding when I'm at home, I'm just barely keeping up with her while pumping at work, but it's working, so I'll keep it up for as long as I can. Three months is bronze, baby.

 
My breast pump of choice, and the backpack I use for transporting it.
     In light of my interest in breastfeeding, I've discovered the following two articles, which really speak to both the value of and scientfic interest in this topic.

Breast milk contains more than 700 bacteria: Microbes taken from breast milk by the infant are identified

Breast milk contains stem cells

The far-reaching benefits of breastfeeding make lugging my pump back and forth worth it.

     Please note that this post contains product links using Amazon Associates. Should enough people click the links and make purchases, I would get paid. Amazon Associates pays once your clicks equal $10; in my entire history with the program, I currently have about $3, so I have never been paid yet, lol. The biggest reason I use Amazon Associates is so that I don't have to use my own personal server space for image hosting when I refer to products, and to ensure proper and unbroken links for archiving purposes.

Tommy cats

     Yesterday morning, November 25, 2012, we lost our special kitty, Tommy.

     Tommy was always fun and feisty, but always seemed to have time for some cuddles and love. For about a year and half, Tommy had been battling Chronic Renal Disease, which essentially means that his kidneys were slowly giving up on him. He fought a hard battle, but eventually the disease took him from us after a happy twelve years.



     Tommy is survived by me and my husband, our daughter, and his later adopted kitty-sister, Pooh Bear (14). Tommy's kitty-brother and litter-mate Tyler passed away almost a year earlier, on December 3, 2011. My husband adopted Tommy and Tyler as kittens, and no kitties could ever be loved more. Near the end, my husband spent much of his time comforting and spending time with Tommy, and although we value the chance to say goodbye, it still doesn't make the loss any easier. We are happy that he is no longer suffering, and we are glad that he got to enjoy his last year with us in our new home, where he looked out windows, lazed in the sun, and played with toys all over our hardwood floors. We appreciate that our daughter got the chance to pet and see Tommy--although she may not remember it, we can tell her Tommy was one of her first pets.

     We hope that somewhere, there is a white-nosedorange kitten with a penchant for catching paperclips and bullying/cuddling his siblings being born into the world. Tommy, we love and miss you so much.

Earned my stripes

     [EDIT: Posted from the future for posterity.] My dear daughter was born this morning at 6:05am. I'm finally a momma!

Seasonal Reminders

     I really enjoy the natural rhythms of the seasons. I'm not just saying that because we are on the cusp of my favorite two. There are many things that should be changed every three months or so, and aligning those things with seasonal changes helps me to remember them without having to write them down. They range from some fairly gendered concerns to common sense things for all. Here is my list, in no specific order, and by no means is it exhaustive.

1. Change your toothbrush.

This one is for everyone. It is recommended that you change your toothbrush every three to four months. If you keep it at three, you'll align with the seasons, and bam, new weather patterns? New toothbrush (or toothbrush head, if you have an electric model like me).

2. Change your mascara.

The recommended shelf-life of mascara is not to exceed four months. I remember reading a tip, and I'd like to attribute it to Beauty @ About.com, but I can't find the exact article--anywho, the tip was to sign up with Amazon.com's Subscribe and Save program, if you are bad at remembering when to go for a new mascara. The plan is to subscribe to a new mascara every three to four months, and then, like magic, when you are supposed to throw your old mascara away, a new one shows up! If you don't want to align with the three-month seasons, this is an excellent tip. I, however, last bought my mascara somewhat in bulk from my local BJ's Wholesale Club, so I've already got an extra stashed away (that was obtained at a nice price). When it hits September 1, I'm going to pitch the old and start with the new.

3. Change your contact case.

I found this article about eye strain and work computer usage a little over a year ago, and it kind of changed my world. In the article, along with lots of good every-day tips, it says, "Clean your storage case regularly (with fresh solution, not water) and replace it every 2 to 3 months." Um, what? I have never, ever been told this by any eye care professional. I googled and found that to be the true and common advice, and much to my horror, upon reading this article, I don't think I'd ever changed a contact case unless forced to because I lost the first one. It makes sense, though, and that's why every bottle of solution you buy usually also comes with a shiny new contact case. I have a giant box of them, now, and when the season changes, I'm going to change the case. I may also change the contacts as well!

4. Change your scents.

This regards two of my favorite hobbies that are based around the olfactory sense--candles and hand soap. Those are the two big things that are scented seasonally around my home. Smaller instances are things as varied as shampoo and conditioner, body wash, hand sanitizers, dish soap, counter-top sprays, fabric refreshers, and air fresheners (which I prefer in my home's restrooms to candles). If one is going to take the time to invest in all of these products, one should make sure to use them as well! Switch everything around, and you'll be ready when the weather really starts to match the season.

5. Change (or restock) your baking supplies.

I'm not citing anyone but myself on this one. Every three months, I like to take inventory of my flour, sugar, brown sugar, powdered sugar, tapioca, salt, baking soda, baking powder, and vanilla extract supplies. Especially coming up on fall and winter, I like to make sure I have at least a backup of all of these products, so I don't run out when I need something.

     These are just a few things on my list. Is there anything that you like to check quarterly that can fit into a seasonal time frame? Leave suggestions in the comments!

Skincare for the Face: A Discussion of Pregnancy, Products, Likes, and Dislikes

     Through the course of my pregnancy, I’ve been surprised to find that my non-pregnancy and during-pregnancy facial skin acts pretty much the same—oil slick city. I am oily around my nose, on my chin, and (less so but markedly) on my forehead. I’ve got some visible pores on my nose and upper cheeks, right below my eyes, so the skin there gets oily as well. My jaw under my ear and my lower cheeks remain innocuously normal—not dry or oily. As I’ve been dealing with oily skin since puberty, this was just more of the same. I think that the areas around my nose are even oilier than before, but treatment remains pretty much the same.
    Pregnancy does restrict the products one is able to use to control acne, however. Both salicylic acid and benzoyl peroxide are either not recommended or not proven safe, so the opinions from doctors can vary from “go ahead and use it,” to “better safe than sorry.” I have avoided both ingredients, sticking to the “better safe than sorry” category. My acne hasn’t been bad enough to use benzoyl peroxide products in a long time (not since my teenage years)—if I try to use it lately, it usually causes redness. Salicylic acid, however, is in one of my favorite anti-acne face washes.

I honestly have only ever used the gel Neutrogena Redness Soothing Facial Cleanser, but I am not averse to trying the cream. I find this line of anti-acne cleanser much gentler on my face, which is very prone to redness (especially redness caused by over-drying products). I hypothesize that the calming effects of the chamomile extracts (chamomile being commonly used topically to treat skin irritation and inflammation) possibly counteract the abrasiveness of the salicylic acid. Be forewarned, though—I’m not advocating this cleanser for seriously sensitive skin. My skin walks this fine line of, “I’m tough and I’m going to break out all the time,” and “Oooh, that stuff is too rough! I’m going to get red all over!” I don’t officially classify it as “sensitive,” because when I stick to products for sensitive skin, my sebum production skyrockets. I do need something a little tougher than that.
     So, how am I coping with my skin and pregnancy? A few products are keeping me sane.


First, Ponds Wet Cleansing Towelettes in the Evening Soothe variety. I am lazy at night, and when it comes to taking off my makeup, if I didn't have these wipes, the makeup just wouldn't come off until my morning shower. I like the smell of these, and that the wipes themselves don't feel too abrasive. Next, eye cream. I have been using eye cream since my early twenties, and I feel like I can say that I don't have a wrinkle in sight (at least not around my eyes). The skin up there is pretty smooth and flexible still. I also don't see much sunlight, so I don't have sun damage--that may help too. My eye cream of choice is Clinique All About Eyes gel. I tried the Rich cream once, and I was not as impressed. My skin prefers gel-based lotions to cream-based lotions, as creams tend to make me oilier. Finally, Garnier Clinical Dark Spot Corrector. My skin scars badly. If I pop a pimple, that red mark is staying for weeks. I really have noticed a difference using this product, that my skin heals acne scars more quickly. Things that would have taken weeks to fade begin to fade overnight with use of this product in the evening.
     That's my evening routine--makeup wipe, eye cream, dark spot corrector. The wipe and the dark spot corrector are both applied all over the face. My morning routine has a few more products, but one of those products themselves may be a little shocking.


First, I must confess, I only use Dove Pink Beauty Bar on my face in the shower. I've tried other face-specific cleansers, and everything seems to just cause more pimples. Pregnancy or no pregnancy, simple Dove Pink keeps my face the most flawless. Counter-intuitive, right? Secondly, and only once a week, I've been using Clarins One Step Gentle Exfoliating Cleanser, but, full discretion, only because I felt guilty after an in-store counter facial and had to buy something. It's pretty mild, though, and I have nothing against the occasional scrub in general.
     Out of the shower, my products of choice are largely Garnier-based.


My all-over, go-to moisturizer of choice is Garnier Moisture Rescue Refreshing Gel-Cream. I used to be dedicated to Clinique Dramatically Different Moisturising Gel, but I tried out the Garnier option, and liked the Garnier better. Compare the Garnier and Clinique at 1.7 oz. bottles, and the Garnier wins by about $5 (not including shipping, if you're purchasing online). Next, I have to admit that, on occasion, I am partial to toner. I know that it is generally regarded as unnecessary, but I find that using it helps with general oil control and makes my skin feel better overall. However! I do not splurge on expensive toners. Witch hazel is my toner of choice. You can opt to try the brand I mentioned above, T. N. Dickinson's 100% Natural Witch Hazel Astringent, which is a good, basic, and name-brand product example of Witch Hazel, but I personally pick up the generics in the grocery store for about half the price. We're talking $8 to $4--neither of these amounts are bank-breaking. Finally, as my morning concealer+eye cream, I like to use Garnier Skin Renew Anti-Dark Circle Eye Roller. This goes on so smoothly, especially when applied right after the Garnier Moisture Rescue Refreshing Gel-Cream. It does have color to it, so if you're under-eye-makeup-averse, you may want to try Garnier's other eye roller, Garnier Skin Renew Anti-Puff Eye Roller. I like the shade of the eye roller, personally, so I feel like I'm getting two benefits out of one product.
     These are my tried-and-true favorites for the moment. When I run out of my current jar of Garnier Moisture Rescue Refreshing Gel-Cream, I may try Clinique Redness Solutions Daily Relief Cream. It is an actual cream, and it is much more expensive than Garnier's products, but I do contend with a lot of redness on a daily basis. I do own and use Clinique Redness Solutions Instant Relief Mineral Powder, but I feel like this powder doesn't go far enough, and doesn't get to seep into my skin like a moisturizer would. Also, applying both an anti-redness and foundation powder slows my makeup application in general--if a moisturizer could take care of the redness for me, I'd be in two-in-one heaven once again.
     Finally, on to things I have tried and disliked. Right this second, only one product really comes to mind. Garnier Skin Renew Miracle Skin Perfector BB Cream--I had high hopes for this product. Again, in my two-in-one love, I thought this could serve as a mattifier/moisturizer/SPF key to my dreams. My fatal flaw was assuming that I could use a non-powder-based sunscreen.


I cannot use lotion-based products that include sunscreen. Something in that concoction of ingredients turns me into an oil slick almost immediately--my skin just can't take it. Regular sunscreen does this to me as well. My best bet for daily sun protection on my face is mineral powder foundations that include SPF. The powder helps to counteract the oily potential. My current powder of choice is Physicians Formula Mineral Wear Talc-free Mineral Face Powder.
     That's my product usage in a nutshell. I'm obviously a big fan of some Garnier products--I feel like they offer an affordable and attainable alternative to many of Clinique's offerings. I wonder if they are as strongly allergy-tested as Clinique products. Even if they aren't, though, their in-home effectiveness is really all it took to win me over. I recently saw an advertisement for Garnier Fructis Moroccan Sleek Oil Treatment, which contains argan oil, an oil from the Moroccan argan tree (an interesting article about the sustainability and sourcing of this oil can be found here). I would like to see Garnier be a little more open about their sourcing.

     Please note that this post contains product links using Amazon Associates. Should enough people click the links and make purchases, I would get paid. Amazon Associates pays once your clicks equal $10; in my entire history with the program, I currently have about $3, so I have never been paid yet, lol. The biggest reason I use Amazon Associates is so that I don't have to use my own personal server space for image hosting when I refer to products, and to ensure proper and unbroken links for archiving purposes.

Helpfulness and Cuteness

     Two quick links to things that I found useful and/or pretty. You'll probably be able to sort which falls under which category quite easily. The first is a link that I saw on Facebook, posted by the Organic Authority, and it is in regards to caring for and cleaning one's cast iron skillets. I have a collection of three skillets and one cast iron griddle, and I always blank on a few things, like soap or no soap, and exactly how to reseason it. so, I'm posting this link for both posterity and a PSA for you readers.


How to Clean a Crusty, Rusty Cast Iron Skillet | Sanctuary
     Second, a quick link to something I saw and really loved:


Rustic Stripe Tablecloth
At the intersection of classy with an autumn color scheme, Williams-Sonoma offers the Rustic Stripe Tablecloth. In the same color scheme, you can also find napkins, a table runner, and placemats, if one of those other table-dressing mediums would suit you better. This looks really cute, light, and casual, but able to be dressed up at the same time.

Halloween Candles already...oops.

     I just so happened to be by a Yankee Candle today, and they just so happened to be debuting their Halloween Boney Bunch 2012 collection in store. Again, August 4th--way too early, right? But I also just so happened to have a $10 coupon on my phone using the Key Ring application. This is the perfect storm of new candles.



     That would be two large jar candles, one in Pumpkin Buttercream and the other in Spiced Cocoa, a Black Cat Illuma-Lid, a Black Cat Jar Clinger and a set of Dreadful Drip taper candles.


     I think it's the jar clinger that got us the most. My dear husband, who is not a good influence on me, picked this one up. This little guy is sold out online, so if you want to find him, I suggest trying in-store.

Always getting a jump on things.

     August 1st was two days ago! Has summer been progressing slowly for me? Not exactly. It never does, since I mucky prefer the cooler weather. However, summer is pretty much what stands between me and the birth of my baby, so there's been quite a mix of eagerness, apprehension, impatience, and sluggishness. Summer is passing one day at a time for me, and that feels like just the right speed.
     But! As the advertisements for school supplies start to fill my Sunday paper, it's hard to believe that it's almost time for going back to school. I feel like I say this every year, but it is true--I long to buy glue sticks and crayons. I have no use for them for the next, say, five years, but I can't wait to buy them, just the same.
     A friend of mine just invited me to a Party-Lite party, and although I will not be able to attend (it's really close to my due date), I just can't help being excited over the really fun things that they are introducing for upcoming seasonal decor. Here are a few of my favorites.


Change-o-Luminary, $28

     This piece can literally be used from September until February--half of the year! I really like all of the seasonal shadows that can be cast. I think the spider and snowflakes are my favorites.
     Here are more simply autumn-themed items (as in, you can use them September through November if you'd like) that I thought were worth mentioning.


Autumn Glow, $15
     Really cute. I bet this one casts pretty shadows.


Falling Leaves Centerpiece, $30
     There are a lot of pieces in the Falling Leaves collection, so be sure to browse around. Note that the picture above is two of the Falling Leaves Centerpiece, so if that's the effect you want, you'll have to buy two of them. It would be really nice to have two, though--I do think it is quite charming.
     There are quite a few very cute pieces for Halloween at Party-Lite right now, but my tastes run toward the spooky/classy types Halloween decor. I guess only one piece from Party-Lite really fit my tastes.

Halloween Night™ 3" x 5" Grooved Pillar, $15
     I just really like this candle. If you're trying to create a Halloween look with candles alone, this is your go-to candle.
     Unlike other sites that offer holiday decor (Yankee Candle, Williams-Sonoma, and so on), Party-Lite already has their Christmas offerings available. I think they have both some classy and cute things that you won't find anywhere else.


Enchanted Woodland Votive Hurricane, $45
     This one goes under "classy." I suppose it's more of a winter-themed decor piece than specifically Christmas, and that makes me like it even more. My dining room is decorated in grey-blue tones with black furniture, and my formal living room is soon to be painted a silvery-lavender color. I think this piece would look lovely in either of those rooms...but I'm leaning toward my dining room. Black and silver and winter nights just seem so cozy and elegant.


Village Square Tealight Trio, $30 for the set of three
     Is this piece pictured on a mantle? If not, it should be, especially for a home that doesn't have room or money for a holiday train setup. They're tiny and adorable. They also belong on my family room mantle. Tongue-in-cheek, whether they make it there remains to be seen.


Mr. Snow Tealight Holder, $30
     And finally, this is the one piece I actually already purchased...for my mom. I doubt she reads my blog, so we should be okay there. My mom has a penchant for snowmen, so although she is unable to burn Party-Lite candles (they make her ill), she can still enjoy the cuteness of this little guy.
     All of this cold-weather stuff is already available, and we're only in the first half of August! I hope that more lovely things appear as time progresses.