Real-life narrative of a working first-time mom.

     My in-laws are coming to visit today. I really like my husband's family--they are very kind, generous, and supportive.

     I spent the weekend at home with my baby. As I work full time and breastfeed, my daughter makes up for lost time when we are together by napping less and nursing longer. This is very common for breastfed babies. Nursing is comforting and relaxing, and baby misses that throughout the workday. As my daughter pretty much sleeps through the night regularly, our  mornings, evenings, and weekends are spent together. I hold her, play with her, feed her, and generally go crazy enjoying our time.

     I am generally an organized and fastidious person. I like to put things away immediately, and I like everything to have an "away place." I dirty a dish, and right into the dishwasher it goes. I like folding laundry right out of the dryer. My husband thinks I waste time doing things out of order, but I feel I save time by not putting things off until later, when I may not have the time.

     We had Christmas dinner at my house. My husband's extended family came and stayed through Christmas Day. The weekend before New Years until New Years Day, we went to Pittsburgh to visit my family. I caught a cold in Pittsburgh and was sick when I got back home. It's been two weekends since then. Both were spent essentially restocking our home by taking shopping trips, and working for my husband.

     All of these things meet at this point. My house is still a wreck from Christmas. I am not able to clean it because I spend all time at home caring for my baby. My husband must use all extra time to work. We don't have down time. And now, my in-laws have spent the day in my filthy house. After a day of working at my job, I'm heading home feeling like a failure. I can't do it all, and it is driving me crazy. I haven't had the time to clean. I haven't had the time to do laundry. I barely have time to use the restroom. I'm not complaining, but I do have to vent how much of a rotten failure I feel like inside. I don't regret the time spent with my baby. I just wish I could survive on less sleep.