Nursing, long-term

No breastfeeding mother knows how long she is going to nurse. Many nursing moms have an idea or goal of how long they would like to nurse, of how old she would like her child to be, but I would imagine very few have a hard deadline in mind - no nursing after this point. Some moms don't get the chance to nurse very long, and I applaud their efforts for trying. I have been nursing (the same child) for almost 33 months now, which may be the flip side of that coin. I love nursing my daughter, and I feel confident knowing that I am giving her the most nutritious food that is designed just for her little body. She's growing awesomely, getting smarter and bigger everyday, so I don't regret the choice. I never expected to be nursing this long, though. I honestly didn't give it much thought while I was pregnant, and before I was pregnant, I didn't consider it at all. I knew I wanted to nurse, and when it worked out, I kept at it. I pumped for about a year, and now, I'm just plain nursing when I'm home with my baby. I've been through six different sets of nursing bras; the set from right after my pregnancy, when I was bigger in the chest, a smaller set for when I lost the pregnancy weight (it went fairly quickly), a third set when I hit my pre-pregnancy equilibrium, a fourth set to replace the third that I just plain wore out, a fifth replacement to replace the fourth, and sixth after my size shrunk yet again. Each time I purchase new nursing bras, I wonder, maybe this will be the last set! And then it isn't. Someday, I will be able to purchase shirts without considering how easily I can expose one or both of my breasts (my daughter is a twiddler). That day does not appear to be soon, though, so I expect that this September, I will start my third year of nursing. That is a long time to be relying on camis and cardis alone.

Lately, I've been wondering--doesn't anyone make cute nursing wear? The majority of my nursing wardrobe consists of camisoles from Lane Bryant and frankly, cheapie camis (under $5 a piece) from Amazon, and v-neck tees from Old Navy. I have a few camis, shirts, and dresses from Motherhood Maternity, but I mostly wear them at home as pajamas - they don't make the cut as business wear. I wear my nursing bras to work even though I'm not pumping anymore because when I get home, my daughter likes to nurse immediately and I don't get the chance to change my clothes. If I try, she cries, so I oblige. The shirts I wear to work are not so nursing-friendly, so I'm often pulling up the hemlines and exposing my belly. When I was pumping, luckily I had a completely private and lockable nursing room, and I would just take off my shirt, or sometimes even my dress if I needed. It was a single-occupancy room, so I was lucky. I would still wear pumping- or nursing-friendly clothing when I could, though, simply because it saved time not to have to undress and redress. Looking back, though, this a big chunk of my life to have such limited wardrobe options, and this is just for my first child. If I have another baby anytime soon, or more than one, I could easily spend a quarter of my life nursing and dealing with inconvenient clothing in the process.

With that in mind, I have compiled a list of retailers that sell nursing gear with the hopes of giving some desparate moms more places to look for fun and fashionable clothing.

• Motherhood Maternity
• Milk Nursingwear
• Séraphine
• Rumina for Moms
• Momzelle
• Milkstars
• Glamour Mom
• Figure 8 Maternity
• Target Maternity
• H&M
• Old Navy
• Gap
• Asos
• La Leche League Intimate Apparel
• Undercover Mama

Makeup for the commute!

     I have a confession to make. I used to judge women who put on a whole face of makeup on the train. I am lucky enough to have the majority of my commuting time on the WMATA Metro (well, lucky 75% of the time, stuck in delays for the rest). Sometimes, I see women applying their full makeup routine on the train, and I used to think, "Ugh, why don't you do that at home?" I think I now know the answer for some of those women--they have kids.

     I offer up my morning for example. I woke early so I could be on time for a work meeting. I went to the kitchen to feed the cat, started packing lunch, got caught up in straightening up so the babysitter wouldn't see what slobs we are (we're not hiding it very well), came back upstairs to get ready just as the baby started crying, spent time soothing her, then showered, dressed, and ran out the door late without coffee and with my hair still wet. Early efforts go out the window. When I'm at home, my time goes to the family, and that is the have-it-all tradeoff of the working mom. I don't regret it (with the exception of a wet head on cold mornings), but my train commute is what allows me to still present a makeup-professional face when I walk into the office.

     I am now a woman who applies her morning makeup on the train. There are some concessions that a commute makeup application must make. As I am applying makeup on the go, everything must be low-mess and easily transportable, able to fit in my purse without taking over. This really streamlines the process and products. Through trial and error, I have chosen my favorites.

My entire commuting makeup collection, dumped from my makeup bag.


Before and after, five minutes tops, a professional face of makeup.

     This is non-makeup, but if I didn't get a chance to apply my favorite face lotion that morning, I keep a slender bottle of L'Oreal Paris Youth Code Texture Perfector Pore Vanisher. I know that most of the time, pore minimizers are just hocum, but I decided to try this product after reading this comment from The Beauty Brains. TL;DR--although they didn't share the data, L'oreal must have some research to back up their claims, or else they could be sued. The product itself reminds me of a light primer--it feels very silicone-based, and seems to help with my oily skin. I'm not using it day and night like the box instructs, but maybe I will once I run out of my current Garnier jar. L'Oreal Paris Youth Code Texture Perfector Pore Vanisher is much pricier than my Garnier gel-lotion, but it is still drugstore-available, so I'll think on it. For now, though, the very portable bottle is in my purse makeup bag.

     On to makeup. I start with foundation. My skin is oily and doesn't take well to liquid foundations, so I prefer mineral powder foundations. My favorite brand currently is L'Oreal Paris True Match Mineral Pressed Powder. It is a pressed mineral powder with a sponge, and the package includes the mirror I use to apply the rest of my makeup. I like the True Match like because it offers a lot of shade variations. I have pretty fair skin, but it is usually just a hair darker than most brand's lightest shade, but the next darkest shade is too dark. The True Match line has three "lightest" shades based on skin undertones. I find the W2 shade "Light Ivory" is pretty much my skin exactly, and I can get it in a variety of forms: liquid, mousse, powder, or mineral. I had searched for a while and returned some products in my search for the right shade. This is it.

     I love the next product that I'm going to talk about--L'Oreal Paris Studio Secrets Professional The One Sweep Eye Shadow. Before I used this, I was a fan of Neutrogena Crease-Proof Eye Shadow, but I found that the L'oreal product suited me much better. I prefer the "Natural for Brown Eyes" shade. The reviews of this product on Amazon are either "amazing!" or "terrible!" I fall in the amazing camp. Maybe it has to do with the shades in the version I use, but I think that the one-sweep gives me the eye color and shading that looks like it took way more than a few seconds and a single swipe. It looks much better than I can do on my own. I also own a different shade in this product, and I don't like it as much as I like the "Natural for Brown Eyes" blend. When you are on a bumpy train, you don't have the time or room or effort to carry around multiple shades and brushes, and that this does it in one swipe--perfect for me.

     To finish off my eyes, I use mascara. Full disclosure, I tried using mascara and eyeliner for a while, but I suck at eyeliner. I don't know why, maybe it's the shape of my eyes, maybe it's the fact that my mom didn't let me perfect it in high school, maybe it wasn't big when I was a teenager like it is for teens now, but yeah--a 13-year-old could out-eyeliner me. I'm okay with that. On the train, mascara provides enough poke-danger, so I don't need to go overboard. I think that for the appearance I'm aiming for--work professional--eyeliner ends up being too much anyway. So, knowing that my eyeliner skills are lacking, guess how my mascara skills are? Needing help! So that's why I really love Maybelline New York Volum Express Falsies Big Eyes Washable Mascara. You get two brushes! One for the top lashes, and a tiny that doesn't get overly goopy or springy for the lower ones. Genius! I know exactly where the mascara is going, and it's just so much easier for me to manage, especially on a moving train.

     Finally, I finish with lip color. I have very strong opinions about lip color. For example, I don't like to wear glosses--I think they are a young lady's game, and I dislike that when the wind blows, my hair gets stuck on my lips. So no water-wet lip looks for me. I also feel that straight-up lipsticks are dated. If you're going for a retro look, that's one thing, but I don't think there are many women who are going for a plain tube of lipstick when there are so many other options. For me, the best alternative is a colored balm--you get sheer color coverage, but and you don't dry out your lips. I personally prefer Burt's Bees for my lip color. I don't usually buy into the greenwashing of cosmetics and toiletries, but I know based on experience--the non-natural balms still dry out my lips and Burt's Bees balms do not. I was using L'Oreal Paris Colour Riche Lip Balm for a while, as I like their color offerings better, but my lips would still grow flakey, so I went back to Burt's Bees, and my lips returned to feeling in good health. My favorite shades are Apricot, Cherry, Fig, and Peony. I'll have to try not to buy any others or else my makeup bag will be all lip colors.

     And that's that! Five products, no more than five minutes, and I become Business Tish, ready for what the day will throw at me, and those five minutes do not take any time away from my Angel Pie and family. Out of a forty minute commute, five minutes to spare to make me feel prepared and professional is well worth it.

Mom Advice! Teething and biting during breastfeeding

     One question that comes up often at Moms.com is biting and breastfeeding. If you breastfeed long enough for a baby to grow teeth, most likely, you will experience this. However, babies can bite while nursing regardless of whether they have teeth. It hurts more with teeth then without. It's funny in the beginning without teeth. It's much less funny when the teeth start popping up.

Can it hurt you?
     Yes, but probably not to the extent that you need to stop nursing. Whether you want to stop nursing because of it is a different matter.

What if I'm bleeding?
     Nipple cream is your friend. Blood in your milk is okay and will not hurt the baby. If you can, nurse or pump through it. It will feel better with time.

Can I teach my baby not to bite me?
     You can try! I tried, but it never really worked. She would still bite at the end of nursing or when she thought I should be paying attention. At times, it even made me angry--it hurt! But I swallowed my frustration and kept nursing.

Does it ever stop?
     I think this is the most important point in my article--yes! And then you think you're out of the woods, and it can begin again! The important thing to remember is that biting is a symptom of teething, and that when the teeth and jaw feel better, the biting will stop. If you can wait it out, it could be worth it!

     My daughter had two spells of biting me while nursing. The first happened around eight months, and I swear, it seemed like it would never end. The second one happened around a year, and was just as long. In reality, they probably didn't last longer than a month apiece, and she stopped doing it after her teeth stopped bothering her. I tried to teach her not to bite me, but it never really worked. She would still bite at the end of nursing or when she thought I should be paying attention (at least it felt that way). At times, it even made me angry--it hurt! But I swallowed my frustration and kept nursing. I'm glad I did, though, because once her teeth stopped bothering her, she stopped bothering me, and we continue to nurse with ease.

Mom Advice! Making the medicine go down--can you change the medicine?

     I have recently accepted a part-time position on Moms.com as a Site Hostess, and as such, I've been composing a lot of short advice articles related to my first-time parenting experineces. I thought it could be helpful to share some of those advice articles here.

     Getting your baby or toddler to take medicine can be difficult. I realize that if you are talking about a perscription, then that's that, and there may be no other options. However, if you are talking about OTC medications, you may be able to try different brands or formulations. While my baby is teething, we offer pain reliever. My daughter hates all pain relievers EXCEPT dye-free CVS generic ibuprofen--that she takes without issue. We've tried name brands, and even CVS generic with dye, and she refuses them. I'm glad we found a version that works, and maybe if you fall into this situation, you can too.

     I also once read advice that if you give baby a small dropper of water every day, baby will get used to this and be more likely to take medications in the future. I haven't tried this exactly, but when my Angel-Pie was under six months old, we did have to give her reflux medication. Because of that, when I had to give her other medications later on (like ibuprofen), she didn't fight them as much as I expected--she was used to the idea of drinking liquid from a dropper. I think that saved us a lot of trouble.


Cross-posted @ Moms.com

Article: 5 Workplace Rights That Every Pregnant Woman Needs To Know

     Many women don't know the full extent of their rights as pregnant and nursing mothers. Check out these five things you should know. Includes information about hiring AND breastfeeding.

5 Workplace Rights That Every Pregnant Woman Needs To Know

Cross-posted @ Moms.com

Vicks Vaporub, Tiny Noses, and Tiny (or not so tiny) Toesies

     February is nearly over, and if you've made it through this winter without a cold, stay away from me. I am finishing up a cold right now. My symptoms began on Valentine's Day, and they ran the gamut of a low fever (99-100), sore throat, coughing, and nasal congestion. Right now, I'd be healthy if I could only lose this cough. Such are the effects of viral acute bronchitis (diagnosed myself with the help of WebMD. If I am still coughing on March 7th, I'll seek medical aid.

     Over the course of this cold, I took a generic version of Advil Cold and Sinus for the first time in what I calculated as years. Ibuprofen isn't recomended during pregnancy, and psudoephendrine runs the risk of reducing milk supply for nursing mothers. Although I'm still nursing, my Angel Pie is keenly into her toddler years, I felt that I could risk a lower milk supply for some relief. I took it for about two days, and at first it felt wonderful, but then I found that it was causing a dry, itchy spot in the back of my throat that was making me feel like coughing, so I stopped.

     I'm down to an occasional cough right now, but days ago, the cough was incessant, and I was pretty desperate to find something that would let me sleep through the night. Isn't waking up coughing the worst? Not only was I waking my husband, I was also waking my Angel Pie! So I took to combing the internet in the wee hours of the morning to find a fix. It is suggested that rubbing Vicks Vaporub on one's feet and covering with socks was a good remedy. It's all over the mom boards on various parenting sites.


     My first instinct was to fact-check, and indeed, there are a few sites addressing it.

Snopes.com
Geekosystem, "No, Rubbing Vicks Vaporub On Your Feet Does Not Prevent Coughing"
UrbanLegends.About.com, "Does Vicks VapoRub on Soles of Feet Relieve Coughing?"

Buuuut...anecdotal evidence here. I noticed that I don't cough as much when I'm fiddling on my phone. That got me to thinking maybe Vicks works as means of distraction? Closer to what the UrbanLegends.About.com article mentions, maybe it's a counter-stimulus? Laying in bed, thinking about the tickle in your throat, hoping, "Don't cough, don't cough" ? Of course you're going to cough! But maybe if your feet tingle, that distracts from the tickle, and you can use that to sleep. So, I thought I'd give it a go! I had a jar of Vicks Vaporub and some socks, and it was time to go to sleep. So, did it help? For me, unfortunately, a flat no. I didn't feel anything on my feet--no warmth, no tingle from the menthol, nothing. As there was no point of distraction for me, then, all I had to focus on was the throat tickle, and of course I coughed. Again, this anecdotal. Perhaps if someone had more sensitive foot skin than I have, it can help, but for me, it was a bust.

     I am concerned, however, about the moms prescribing this for their babies with coughs. I understand wanting to be able to do something--my Angel Pie is currently dealing with a nasal congestion, or as we call it, a terrible "boogie nose". I hate nasal congestion the most for my baby, and I think I've written about it before. If my Angel Pie can't breathe through her nose, she can't nurse, and that makes the one thing that brings her comfort when nothing else does, it makes it not work. And then she cries, which makes her nose run even more, and it becomes a vicious cycle of my baby just not feeling well. She is under two years old, though, and that means that Vicks Vaporub is not the answer. In this article from Parenting.com:

The ingredients in Vicks VapoRub can irritate the airways and increase mucus production. The effect isn't huge, says Dr. Rubin, but it can be significant in infants and young children (under 2) who have very small airways to begin with. And when those pipes are already inflamed from a cold or other infection, a little bit of extra inflammation and mucus may narrow them quickly and severely.

And I'm sure the last thing we want to do is make our little ones feel worse. I'd think that even if we're putting Vicks on a baby's feet, the baby is still inhaling and thereby getting the negative effects from those vapors. I'd personally recommend not trying it and sticking to a steamy bathroom and nasal aspirators. Hang in there--colds generally only last about ten days. My Angel Pie could possibly be on day eight of her cold, so maybe we're close to the end!

     Please note that this post contains product links using Amazon Associates. Should enough people click the links and make purchases, I would get paid. Amazon Associates pays once your clicks equal $10; in my entire history with the program, I currently have about $3, so I have never been paid yet, lol. The biggest reason I use Amazon Associates is so that I don't have to use my own personal server space for image hosting when I refer to products, and to ensure proper and unbroken links for archiving purposes.

What's harder than explaining extended nursing to your in-laws?

     Explaining twiddling along with it! My poor father-in-law is a good sport!


Cross-posted @ Moms.com

Happy New Year

     I really had a lovely Christmas, but the ball has dropped, and now, as I lay in bed and nurse my baby to sleep, it's 2014, and it's just winter. Are there any resolutions to declare? I'd like to guide my family toward a healthier lifestyle. I'd like to make sure we make happiness a priority. I'd like to reclaim and hone my career. Right now, though, I'm going to cuddle down and enjoy the warmth. Being present through stillness is not inactivity; it's the best kind of progress.

Real-life narrative of a working first-time mom.

     My in-laws are coming to visit today. I really like my husband's family--they are very kind, generous, and supportive.

     I spent the weekend at home with my baby. As I work full time and breastfeed, my daughter makes up for lost time when we are together by napping less and nursing longer. This is very common for breastfed babies. Nursing is comforting and relaxing, and baby misses that throughout the workday. As my daughter pretty much sleeps through the night regularly, our  mornings, evenings, and weekends are spent together. I hold her, play with her, feed her, and generally go crazy enjoying our time.

     I am generally an organized and fastidious person. I like to put things away immediately, and I like everything to have an "away place." I dirty a dish, and right into the dishwasher it goes. I like folding laundry right out of the dryer. My husband thinks I waste time doing things out of order, but I feel I save time by not putting things off until later, when I may not have the time.

     We had Christmas dinner at my house. My husband's extended family came and stayed through Christmas Day. The weekend before New Years until New Years Day, we went to Pittsburgh to visit my family. I caught a cold in Pittsburgh and was sick when I got back home. It's been two weekends since then. Both were spent essentially restocking our home by taking shopping trips, and working for my husband.

     All of these things meet at this point. My house is still a wreck from Christmas. I am not able to clean it because I spend all time at home caring for my baby. My husband must use all extra time to work. We don't have down time. And now, my in-laws have spent the day in my filthy house. After a day of working at my job, I'm heading home feeling like a failure. I can't do it all, and it is driving me crazy. I haven't had the time to clean. I haven't had the time to do laundry. I barely have time to use the restroom. I'm not complaining, but I do have to vent how much of a rotten failure I feel like inside. I don't regret the time spent with my baby. I just wish I could survive on less sleep.

Mommyhood!

     My beautiful daughter, my Angel Girl, is three months old. I know it more exactly, too--fifteen weeks, four days, and roughly eleven hours old. This may reflect what I'm beginning to realize about myself--I am steeped in motherhood. It took over my life in a rough, overwhelming, and irreversible way, but I grew to really, really love it. My Angel Girl is out of her so-called "fourth trimester," which means that's she's awake, both literally and figuratively. She sleeps much less than she used to (and much less than I think babies her age do, on average), but she's also aware that she wants to be held, she wants to be talked to, she enjoys being talked to, and she enjoys talking back. I think we heard her first word, "Ma!" on Sunday, January 6, and yesterday, she looked right at my husband and said, "Da!" She wants to kick and flail, shove both hands in her mouth and suck and gnaw, grab on to Mommy's hair and yank, put various non-pacifier limbs of Mr. WubbaNub into her mouth, or hang her ringy rattle from her mouth and both of her hands. She wants to see and do and participate. She likes and dislikes. She has a will. She's a little person, all smiles and grabbiness and a few scant giggles here in there (although it's like pulling teeth to get them out of her). It's the most exciting thing I've ever done, I never expected to feel this way, and I don't know if it's biological or mental, but I'd never look back or regret it. This is just too good.

  
     My adventures in motherhood also include adventures in breastfeeding. My Angel Girl is breastfed exclusively, which is no small feat, since I work full time and leave her home with my husband (who also works full time--and trust me, the math doesn't add up to us either, and my husband all but stands on his head to make this possible). This leaves me to pump breast milk at work, which is a Pain in the Ass (capitals intentional), but that's okay. There are many more horror stories about poor mothers who really want to and really try to breastfeed and can't, so my minor annoyances about pumping at work hardly register as reasons to stop. The bottom line is that I enjoy breastfeeding when I'm at home, I'm just barely keeping up with her while pumping at work, but it's working, so I'll keep it up for as long as I can. Three months is bronze, baby.

 
My breast pump of choice, and the backpack I use for transporting it.
     In light of my interest in breastfeeding, I've discovered the following two articles, which really speak to both the value of and scientfic interest in this topic.

Breast milk contains more than 700 bacteria: Microbes taken from breast milk by the infant are identified

Breast milk contains stem cells

The far-reaching benefits of breastfeeding make lugging my pump back and forth worth it.

     Please note that this post contains product links using Amazon Associates. Should enough people click the links and make purchases, I would get paid. Amazon Associates pays once your clicks equal $10; in my entire history with the program, I currently have about $3, so I have never been paid yet, lol. The biggest reason I use Amazon Associates is so that I don't have to use my own personal server space for image hosting when I refer to products, and to ensure proper and unbroken links for archiving purposes.

Earned my stripes

     [EDIT: Posted from the future for posterity.] My dear daughter was born this morning at 6:05am. I'm finally a momma!